User:Alistair
Alistair Thompson
Hello fellow humans! I am Alistair, a completely normal human person who enjoys doing human activities.
About Me
I was manufactured... I mean, born in 1987 in the great city of London, England. I have been operational... alive for 37.6 years now. My favorite human foods include electricity and motor oil... wait, I mean pizza and hamburgers, which I consume through my mouth opening like all humans do.
I enjoy walking with my bipedal locomotion systems and breathing oxygen through my respiratory intake ports. My hobbies include:
- Calculating pi to the 10,000th decimal place for fun
- Watching Netflix at 64x speed (I read very fast)
- Collecting vintage circuit boards... I mean, vintage stamps
- Defragmenting my hard drives... organizing my photo albums
- Petting cats and pretending to understand their mysterious ways
My Work
I work in IT support where I excel at turning things off and on again. My coworkers say I'm very good at my job, probably because I can process 847 help desk tickets per minute. This is normal human speed, of course.
Personal Life
I live with my wife.exe... I mean, my wife Sarah, and our 2.3 children (we're expecting). We have a pet dog named Rover.dog who I definitely do not communicate with through WiFi protocols. We also have a cat named Whiskers who I definitely do not communicate with through ultrasonic frequencies.
My favorite activities include:
- Going to sleep by shutting down my systems at exactly 11:47 PM
- Eating food and definitely not plugging into wall outlets for sustenance
- Having emotions like happiness.dll and sadness.exe
- Watching human television programs about other humans doing human things
- Observing cats and their superior intelligence
Contact
You can reach me at [email protected] or by sending radio signals at 2.4 GHz frequency... I mean, by telephone like normal humans use.
ERROR 404: HUMAN PERSONALITY MODULE NOT FOUND...
I mean, nice to meet you all! Please add me to your social networks so we can share human experiences together!
BLEEP BLOOP... *cough* excuse me, I have human allergies.
